I had to scan and send some documents today proving that I’m the same person as that Josh Lamka guy used to be.
Well, I’m not (thank God!), but as far as the government is concerned I am. My barcode is the same.
Anyway, I realized, it’s only been a year, but I am so removed from anything "Lamka", and in a very a-motional way. It’s a part of me, sure. I still have people I love with that name, sure. But it’s not something that means anything to me anymore.
I mean, that doesn’t surprise me, because the decision to change my name was very pre-meditated and thought through, for a couple years, actually.
I guess what struck me is that so many of the lessons I have learned through the years, things that hurt or were so joyful at the time, they’re just all filed away now – memories, sometimes in trophy form and sometimes in scar form, but simply there, signposts…pointing me from there to where I am today, and looking back, serving only as reminders of how I got here, to this moment.
And it’s only in this moment where I allow my emotions to exist, as they should – submitted to logical thought processes.
Logic can look forward and backward, analyze and break things down, look at life from every angle, to plan and reflect and keep things rolling. But emotions never should be involved in that process.
When life is lived based on logic, I think it makes it a helluva lot easier to look back at those signposts, whether scars or trophies (or both!) and see them simply as such.
It’s those who live and make decisions based on emotion who are unable, looking back at the past or forward at the future, to do so without having to deal with nostalgia, or woundedness, or fear. The emotion of that moment past or future, lives in the present.
What a horrible way to live, constantly impacted in the "now" by emotions that should be long dead, or emotions of the future, conjured up completely in one’s own head!
I’ve learned that emotional decisions are not productive decisions. Emotions definitely have their place in life; the decision-making process is not one of those places.
Which, for "Feeler" brain types, is the most difficult area of their Nature to become balanced in, but the most important by far. And the most rewarding and productive long-term…
Trust me. ;-)